The new year is fast approaching and I can't help but to think of some changes I need to make in my life. I did an great job with my changes last year and I hope to be able to pick up where I left off and maybe add a couple of things for this coming year.
1. Lose more weight. Last year I lost 30 lbs and I'm hoping to lose that much again this year. More would be great but I'm going to try to keep it real. It's much easier making goals if you keep them small. I will try to set a monthly goal and meet that. I don't think 7-10lbs a month is to much to ask. This means exercise though. I need to get off my butt in the morning and walk. I'm going to start with a Mon, Wed, Fri schedule. Last year walking every morning was just to much and I burned out quickly.
2. I need to work on my phobia of the phone. By being afraid of the phone I am wrecking friendships. I am going to try to set aside 15 minutes a day to call someone up and let them know I'm thinking of them.
3. Take better care of my teeth. I am having a difficult time finding a routine since I stay at home with my son. I want to make sure to brush every day (twice would be great) and floss every evening.
I think those are the major 3 that I want to accomplish this coming year. I need all the luck I can get because I know # 1 is going to be the tough one for me. Eating is one of my favorite things and it's hard to be on a diet all by myself but I need to do this for my health.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
I hate snow
I've just spend the longest 10 days of my life being stuck at home due to a huge snow storm. Amazingly enough I survived to tell the tale.
It all started on Dec 16. Hubby woke up and looked out the window at 6 in the morning. No snow. Just before he leaves for work he tells me that he's going to take my car (has 4wd) to work that day. It had already snowed enough in those 40 minutes to start sticking on the ground. I had no problem with that as I'd rather have him be on the road in a vehicle capable of having traction in the snow.
It snowed every day up to and including Christmas. At one point we had 10 inches and I know we got at least 2 more inches before the storm was over. There were a lot of things I was going to get done in that time. One was to take Connor to see Santa. I'm so disappointed that I didn't get to do that. Next year I will know to do it sooner rather than later.
Not only did I not get Connor's picture with Santa this year, but because of the weather our Christmas dinner didn't get delivered. My mom sent us a ham, which we still have not received, to be delivered on the 23rd. We still had a very delicious dinner but we had to much out to Fred Meyer to get it. Pickings were slim there and I would have rather had the ham than the over salty roast we got. By the time Christmas came around this year I could have given a crap less about it. I just wasn't in the mood and all I wanted to do was run away from here. I've found that I'm the sort of person that has to get out. Not every day, but it's nice to be able to get out while you can.
Connor actually did pretty well with being home bound. Much better than me anyway. He's lucky to have lots of movies, games, and toys to keep him busy. Still he got on my nerves and there was no where to take him so that I could get a little down time. It's weird how just going to Target can be so refreshing to the both of us. I was literally climbing the walls but I had no interest in doing any of my normal house chores. Instead I was more concerned with the snow piling up in the driveway and side walk.
Living in a cul de sac is really nice, unless it snows. Then you have miles of sidewalk to clear. Not a lot of neighbors cleared their sidewalks which according to the city you must do. I assume that's because if someone falls they can sue you for not keeping the sidewalk clear. Knowing some of the rift raft in the neighborhood I wouldn't put it past them to sue us. Another piece of hell about living in a cul de sac is dealing with idiot teenage kids that think it's fun to drive their car around and around and around the circle at 2 in the morning. Why couldn't they have crashed that car? Oh, that's right cause I'm just not that lucky! So on top of being annoyed by being stuck at home I had to deal with sleepless nights because of their stupidity. I was already exhausted from shoveling the driveway and sidewalk.
Oh another thing that bothered me by that fat slob that drives his car around at 2 in the morning is his snow man making abilities. People, snow men are not supposed to be filthy. That means do not roll a snow ball up and down the side walks for 3 hours trying to piece together a shitty snow man. Seriously, you are an adult and snow men are childish. Get off your fucking lazy ass and shovel snow like a man you fucking pussy.
The snow was a lot of work. I hated snow before it started falling and I hated it even worse while I was trapped at home with the walls closing in on me. Now the weather has changed back to rain. Great my second most hated weather. We've only just started winter and we still have 2 months and 3 weeks of this hell to go before the weather starts to get better. This is going to be another long winter.
Next year I will be more prepared for Xmas. I thought I was doing so well. We had the tree up after Thanksgiving, all the gifts were purchased and wrapped, and the lights were up on the house. I tried for the perfect Christmas for Connor and I feel that in a small way I let him down. *shakes fist at the snow*
It all started on Dec 16. Hubby woke up and looked out the window at 6 in the morning. No snow. Just before he leaves for work he tells me that he's going to take my car (has 4wd) to work that day. It had already snowed enough in those 40 minutes to start sticking on the ground. I had no problem with that as I'd rather have him be on the road in a vehicle capable of having traction in the snow.
It snowed every day up to and including Christmas. At one point we had 10 inches and I know we got at least 2 more inches before the storm was over. There were a lot of things I was going to get done in that time. One was to take Connor to see Santa. I'm so disappointed that I didn't get to do that. Next year I will know to do it sooner rather than later.
Not only did I not get Connor's picture with Santa this year, but because of the weather our Christmas dinner didn't get delivered. My mom sent us a ham, which we still have not received, to be delivered on the 23rd. We still had a very delicious dinner but we had to much out to Fred Meyer to get it. Pickings were slim there and I would have rather had the ham than the over salty roast we got. By the time Christmas came around this year I could have given a crap less about it. I just wasn't in the mood and all I wanted to do was run away from here. I've found that I'm the sort of person that has to get out. Not every day, but it's nice to be able to get out while you can.
Connor actually did pretty well with being home bound. Much better than me anyway. He's lucky to have lots of movies, games, and toys to keep him busy. Still he got on my nerves and there was no where to take him so that I could get a little down time. It's weird how just going to Target can be so refreshing to the both of us. I was literally climbing the walls but I had no interest in doing any of my normal house chores. Instead I was more concerned with the snow piling up in the driveway and side walk.
Living in a cul de sac is really nice, unless it snows. Then you have miles of sidewalk to clear. Not a lot of neighbors cleared their sidewalks which according to the city you must do. I assume that's because if someone falls they can sue you for not keeping the sidewalk clear. Knowing some of the rift raft in the neighborhood I wouldn't put it past them to sue us. Another piece of hell about living in a cul de sac is dealing with idiot teenage kids that think it's fun to drive their car around and around and around the circle at 2 in the morning. Why couldn't they have crashed that car? Oh, that's right cause I'm just not that lucky! So on top of being annoyed by being stuck at home I had to deal with sleepless nights because of their stupidity. I was already exhausted from shoveling the driveway and sidewalk.
Oh another thing that bothered me by that fat slob that drives his car around at 2 in the morning is his snow man making abilities. People, snow men are not supposed to be filthy. That means do not roll a snow ball up and down the side walks for 3 hours trying to piece together a shitty snow man. Seriously, you are an adult and snow men are childish. Get off your fucking lazy ass and shovel snow like a man you fucking pussy.
The snow was a lot of work. I hated snow before it started falling and I hated it even worse while I was trapped at home with the walls closing in on me. Now the weather has changed back to rain. Great my second most hated weather. We've only just started winter and we still have 2 months and 3 weeks of this hell to go before the weather starts to get better. This is going to be another long winter.
Next year I will be more prepared for Xmas. I thought I was doing so well. We had the tree up after Thanksgiving, all the gifts were purchased and wrapped, and the lights were up on the house. I tried for the perfect Christmas for Connor and I feel that in a small way I let him down. *shakes fist at the snow*
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Still here
It was brought to my attention that I haven't updated in awhile. There has been tons to report but I haven't felt liking writing.
Connor has been changing a lot lately. He's still driving me crazy with his constant need to ask why and what. It's probably a good thing that he's cute otherwise he'd live permanently in his room. I really need to find a way of working out a way of him going to preschool. I love him to death but I need a break from him. I can't imagine what I could accomplish in a couple of hours twice a week. It would be wonderful.
I'm still working on finding me. Since having Connor I've become someone else. I can't remember what it was like not having Connor. I know I lived quite happily before he came into our lives but I can't remember anything I used to enjoy. Every time I try to find me I feel like I get pulled back in some how. It's almost like I'm not allowed to have the time to find myself.
Things had been going really great with Tom and I. We were working together so well. I was really proud and happy of how well we were getting along. This week though I've been snapping at him and he's been a little different too. I'm sure it's no fun coming home to a grumpy family every day, but this is my life. When he's home on the weekend he does better with just going with the flow of Connor in the evening. However, when he comes home from work it's like he has forgotten what Connor is like. I don't enjoy the crying anymore than anyone else does and sometimes you just have to do what he wants to make peace. It's just a sacrafice and I know I make many of those a day to keep my family happy.
On a side note guess who would never be able to handle two kids? Yeah, that would be me. Guess it's a good thing that it's impossible for us to have any more. I find that it's always fun to hear that when I'm already feeling down and crappy. Sorry, I'm still upset over that comment.
Connor has been changing a lot lately. He's still driving me crazy with his constant need to ask why and what. It's probably a good thing that he's cute otherwise he'd live permanently in his room. I really need to find a way of working out a way of him going to preschool. I love him to death but I need a break from him. I can't imagine what I could accomplish in a couple of hours twice a week. It would be wonderful.
I'm still working on finding me. Since having Connor I've become someone else. I can't remember what it was like not having Connor. I know I lived quite happily before he came into our lives but I can't remember anything I used to enjoy. Every time I try to find me I feel like I get pulled back in some how. It's almost like I'm not allowed to have the time to find myself.
Things had been going really great with Tom and I. We were working together so well. I was really proud and happy of how well we were getting along. This week though I've been snapping at him and he's been a little different too. I'm sure it's no fun coming home to a grumpy family every day, but this is my life. When he's home on the weekend he does better with just going with the flow of Connor in the evening. However, when he comes home from work it's like he has forgotten what Connor is like. I don't enjoy the crying anymore than anyone else does and sometimes you just have to do what he wants to make peace. It's just a sacrafice and I know I make many of those a day to keep my family happy.
On a side note guess who would never be able to handle two kids? Yeah, that would be me. Guess it's a good thing that it's impossible for us to have any more. I find that it's always fun to hear that when I'm already feeling down and crappy. Sorry, I'm still upset over that comment.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Changes
I've been amazed at all the changes that have happened to Connor lately. He turned 3 just over a month ago and I would have never believed how much he has changed in one month. He's had another language explosion, learned to use the potty, and has learned that he can get out of bed by himself. I have to learn to deal with the fact that my baby is no longer a baby. That is such a bitter sweet statement to me.
It amazes me at how well I can communicate with Connor. He's only 3 but he can tell me everything he wants or needs. It's so nice to know when he's hungry and what he actually wants to eat, even if it is macaroni cheese and hot dogs. He can tell me he loves me or hates me. Mostly I just love having him around to keep me entertained. I really do enjoy taking care of him even if I complain about it too. It's not easy but the rewards are more than worth it. His constant talking can get annoying but at the same time it's a blessing that he is such a "normal" kid. I feel for my friend who's 2.5 year old struggles to put two words together. The terrible twos she has encountered have been far worse than what we have experienced. I hate to think of what the 3's will be like for them.
Most shocking to me was his instant potty training. I can't tell how many times we have worked on that in the last year. Then one morning he wakes up and wants to wear underwear and he hasn't looked back since. The first few days were tricky but for the most part he stayed dry. By the end of the week he had it. Now we are working on the little things like flushing every time, calling for me when it's time to wipe, and zipping and fastening pants. It's been great not changing diapers. I haven't missed it at all!
What is strange to me is how I feel about kids that are old enough to use the potty but don't. I am actually finding it rather gross! I know they will learn to do it in their own time. I think it's because I have a sensitive nose. Smelling dirty diapers, even if they are only wet, makes my tummy turn. Once again another thing I'm glad I don't have to do any more. At the same time I have to say good bye to babyhood.
He has finally realized, with much coaching from us that he can get out of bed to use the potty at night. Before he would stay in bed and call for us to come in to attend to his needs. This worked great and I enjoyed knowing that when we put him to bed he was in bed to stay. Then when we changed his room I took out the monitor. The monitor was a huge crutch for me and gave me the piece of mind that I knew when he fell asleep or that if he needed us I could hear him and attend to him. The first night he got up 2 or 3 times to pee right after he went to bed. I knew he'd take advantage of it but I never had to say anything to him and now that the newness has worn off he isn't getting up after going to bed. I have to stay its strange to hear him get up at 2 in the morning and take care of his business all by himself.
I'm so proud of the little man my husband and I have raised. There are days where Connor annoys me and I know there will always be days like that. We are a family and I am so looking forward to enjoying our days together. I do hope that his growing up slows down a bit so I can have more time to enjoy it. Three big changes in 30 days was way to much for me.
It amazes me at how well I can communicate with Connor. He's only 3 but he can tell me everything he wants or needs. It's so nice to know when he's hungry and what he actually wants to eat, even if it is macaroni cheese and hot dogs. He can tell me he loves me or hates me. Mostly I just love having him around to keep me entertained. I really do enjoy taking care of him even if I complain about it too. It's not easy but the rewards are more than worth it. His constant talking can get annoying but at the same time it's a blessing that he is such a "normal" kid. I feel for my friend who's 2.5 year old struggles to put two words together. The terrible twos she has encountered have been far worse than what we have experienced. I hate to think of what the 3's will be like for them.
Most shocking to me was his instant potty training. I can't tell how many times we have worked on that in the last year. Then one morning he wakes up and wants to wear underwear and he hasn't looked back since. The first few days were tricky but for the most part he stayed dry. By the end of the week he had it. Now we are working on the little things like flushing every time, calling for me when it's time to wipe, and zipping and fastening pants. It's been great not changing diapers. I haven't missed it at all!
What is strange to me is how I feel about kids that are old enough to use the potty but don't. I am actually finding it rather gross! I know they will learn to do it in their own time. I think it's because I have a sensitive nose. Smelling dirty diapers, even if they are only wet, makes my tummy turn. Once again another thing I'm glad I don't have to do any more. At the same time I have to say good bye to babyhood.
He has finally realized, with much coaching from us that he can get out of bed to use the potty at night. Before he would stay in bed and call for us to come in to attend to his needs. This worked great and I enjoyed knowing that when we put him to bed he was in bed to stay. Then when we changed his room I took out the monitor. The monitor was a huge crutch for me and gave me the piece of mind that I knew when he fell asleep or that if he needed us I could hear him and attend to him. The first night he got up 2 or 3 times to pee right after he went to bed. I knew he'd take advantage of it but I never had to say anything to him and now that the newness has worn off he isn't getting up after going to bed. I have to stay its strange to hear him get up at 2 in the morning and take care of his business all by himself.
I'm so proud of the little man my husband and I have raised. There are days where Connor annoys me and I know there will always be days like that. We are a family and I am so looking forward to enjoying our days together. I do hope that his growing up slows down a bit so I can have more time to enjoy it. Three big changes in 30 days was way to much for me.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Mama Drama
I don't know how I manage to make the wrong choice about everything. It's got to be a rare talent. Anyhow, another moms group down the shitter.
My friend Misty started a weight loss group in Feb. this year. I joined it with hopes to lose weight and while the group was still weight loss related I lost 30 lbs! We found it was really difficult to have a group dedicated to weight loss with so many people with different goals and ideas of how to achieve weight loss. It turned into a moms group.
After a month or two Misty asked me to become an assistant organizer. I should have said no right then and there. I have to admit I was curious what it was like to have control over group functions. Soon I found out it was a lot more work that I really wanted to commit to. Still, Misty was a friend and I was there to help her out. I really am trying to make friends and since I'm new to this I really have no idea how to do it.
Things went well till a few months ago. It's been obvious to me for months that the group is split between those with infants/yearlings and those with older toddlers. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that because bigger kids are rougher with the little ones because they don't know any better. It's all stuff you learn and accept as your child grows.
After awhile Misty makes it mandatory for people to host one event every 3 months. I didn't think that was asking to much. After all the group was called "Movin' Moms" and we wanted to have an active group. I know that upset a lot of people as some left the group immediately.
Before long people would sign up to be at events then no one would show up. In the past month I went to 4 meetings and 3 of them I was the only one to show up to. Being a sensitive person I took that personally. One of the meetings being my sons birthday and all. I kept my mouth shut about it though which I was really proud of myself for doing.
The last straw was this supposed Halloween Party. Misty wanted to have a little something so we could parade our kids around in their costumes, have snacks, play games and get together and socialize. I have never been in a group that didn't have parties for the holidays. Everyone was in and everyone wanted to have this party. Misty spent a lot of time and money buying stuff for games, and prizes only to find out that those with the younger kids were upset. They were upset to have to be charged $8 (after already paying membership dues) for this party. The money was for renting the hall, and all the stuff Misty purchased. A few of the moms brought up the point that their kids couldn't play the games or eat the snacks so they didn't think they should have to pay but still wanted to come.
Oh I forgot to mention the pumpkin patch. Misty asked if people would be interested in touring Bizi Farms and informed everyone they could get in for $4 per kid (regular price is $8 per adult so this is a deal). Everyone wanted to go. Well it happened to rain that day; got to love the NW. Nearly everyone cancelled so Misty was going to be out the $35 fee they charged to book the tour (completely refundable if you show up). They allowed her to change it to another day but the moms I would classify as the moms of babies deciced to go the following day which was nice. Now Misty is stuck with a $35 cancellation fee.
Anytime you have women together there will be drama. Mama drama can be the worst thing ever. After all the drama of the party and the pumpkin patch Misty had enough and decided that since shew as out over $100 at this point to cancell the group. I don't think she went about it in the best way but she cancelled the group, and then deleted her account. I stuck around to see what would happen. I knew there would be drama. Of course no one took into consideration that not everyone had paid their dues, and that some of our monthly new member meetings and craft playdates came out of group funds. So of course everyone (okay just the baby mamas) think Misty has made a quick buck off of them. In reality she has lost a lot of money.
Yesterday Misty asked if I would post saying that those that paid for the party would get refunded. Stupidly, I went ahead and posted that for her. If I had known now what I do now I wouldn't have done it. Everyone thinks I'm lurking to tell her everything that is going on. One of the moms has went off and formed her own group so I know the baby mamas are getting their panties chaffed on their message board coming up with ridicious rumors and thoughts. I got my ass chewed from them for everything. I was so proud of myself for being level headed and not stooping to their level. Boy, would I have loved digging in with both spurs and tell them exactly what I though of them. I resisted. It got really heated and I basically said I didn't deserve to be talked to like that and that if anyone had a problem with me to take it up with me through email but to stop the drama on the board.
That leads me to Shannins email. It turned out from reading it that she didn't have a problem with me but that she knew about my pot problems. Fuck! I was able to get around that saying I did it back in the day and that I am not ashamed of that. Which I am not. Her quam is with Misty and the fact that I'm her friend makes me bait for their jealousy and rage. I delt with the email with kind words, and bluntly saying that she was only out $8 (membership fees) and that all she can do is just move on and hopefully has learned a lesson.
Last night I was so upset. It didn't surprise me when my hubby said he had lost his wedding ring again. I was just to stressed out to even care about a ring. The ring just symbolizes love. The important thing is that he comes home to me and is devoted to Connor and I. The ring can be replaced but I'm going to be to one to judge the size on the next one. ;-)
Thankfully I had a date with my girlfriends last night at On the Border. The food sucked ass but I manged to put away 3 girl drinks. It was so good to be out with my close friends. The ones that know all about me and accept me for who I am. We had some great conversations, shared drinks, and enjoyed a night out with just the girls. It was great to not have to deal with kids crying. I needed a night off and it was great.
When I got home I went staight to bed but hardly slept. I kept thinking of the drama of the day and how upset I was. I was litterally shaking yesterday afternoon with rage. I was also worried about not making it to Connors dr appointment on time. For some reason I thought my car was blocked in and that I would have to make a 72 point turn to get out of the driveway.
I checked my email this morning and was surprised to have two apologies from the people that ripped me apart. Obviously my email to Shannin did exactly what I wanted and while I would have loved to get an apology on the message board I am going to cut my losses. Mama drama sucks and I hate being a part of it. There is still 13 more days left of the group but after the drama I am not leaving the group till it goes kaput. After all I have paid my dues and have every right to be in on the drama!
Have I learned a lesson? Probably not. I wonder what will happen in 6 months.
My friend Misty started a weight loss group in Feb. this year. I joined it with hopes to lose weight and while the group was still weight loss related I lost 30 lbs! We found it was really difficult to have a group dedicated to weight loss with so many people with different goals and ideas of how to achieve weight loss. It turned into a moms group.
After a month or two Misty asked me to become an assistant organizer. I should have said no right then and there. I have to admit I was curious what it was like to have control over group functions. Soon I found out it was a lot more work that I really wanted to commit to. Still, Misty was a friend and I was there to help her out. I really am trying to make friends and since I'm new to this I really have no idea how to do it.
Things went well till a few months ago. It's been obvious to me for months that the group is split between those with infants/yearlings and those with older toddlers. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that because bigger kids are rougher with the little ones because they don't know any better. It's all stuff you learn and accept as your child grows.
After awhile Misty makes it mandatory for people to host one event every 3 months. I didn't think that was asking to much. After all the group was called "Movin' Moms" and we wanted to have an active group. I know that upset a lot of people as some left the group immediately.
Before long people would sign up to be at events then no one would show up. In the past month I went to 4 meetings and 3 of them I was the only one to show up to. Being a sensitive person I took that personally. One of the meetings being my sons birthday and all. I kept my mouth shut about it though which I was really proud of myself for doing.
The last straw was this supposed Halloween Party. Misty wanted to have a little something so we could parade our kids around in their costumes, have snacks, play games and get together and socialize. I have never been in a group that didn't have parties for the holidays. Everyone was in and everyone wanted to have this party. Misty spent a lot of time and money buying stuff for games, and prizes only to find out that those with the younger kids were upset. They were upset to have to be charged $8 (after already paying membership dues) for this party. The money was for renting the hall, and all the stuff Misty purchased. A few of the moms brought up the point that their kids couldn't play the games or eat the snacks so they didn't think they should have to pay but still wanted to come.
Oh I forgot to mention the pumpkin patch. Misty asked if people would be interested in touring Bizi Farms and informed everyone they could get in for $4 per kid (regular price is $8 per adult so this is a deal). Everyone wanted to go. Well it happened to rain that day; got to love the NW. Nearly everyone cancelled so Misty was going to be out the $35 fee they charged to book the tour (completely refundable if you show up). They allowed her to change it to another day but the moms I would classify as the moms of babies deciced to go the following day which was nice. Now Misty is stuck with a $35 cancellation fee.
Anytime you have women together there will be drama. Mama drama can be the worst thing ever. After all the drama of the party and the pumpkin patch Misty had enough and decided that since shew as out over $100 at this point to cancell the group. I don't think she went about it in the best way but she cancelled the group, and then deleted her account. I stuck around to see what would happen. I knew there would be drama. Of course no one took into consideration that not everyone had paid their dues, and that some of our monthly new member meetings and craft playdates came out of group funds. So of course everyone (okay just the baby mamas) think Misty has made a quick buck off of them. In reality she has lost a lot of money.
Yesterday Misty asked if I would post saying that those that paid for the party would get refunded. Stupidly, I went ahead and posted that for her. If I had known now what I do now I wouldn't have done it. Everyone thinks I'm lurking to tell her everything that is going on. One of the moms has went off and formed her own group so I know the baby mamas are getting their panties chaffed on their message board coming up with ridicious rumors and thoughts. I got my ass chewed from them for everything. I was so proud of myself for being level headed and not stooping to their level. Boy, would I have loved digging in with both spurs and tell them exactly what I though of them. I resisted. It got really heated and I basically said I didn't deserve to be talked to like that and that if anyone had a problem with me to take it up with me through email but to stop the drama on the board.
That leads me to Shannins email. It turned out from reading it that she didn't have a problem with me but that she knew about my pot problems. Fuck! I was able to get around that saying I did it back in the day and that I am not ashamed of that. Which I am not. Her quam is with Misty and the fact that I'm her friend makes me bait for their jealousy and rage. I delt with the email with kind words, and bluntly saying that she was only out $8 (membership fees) and that all she can do is just move on and hopefully has learned a lesson.
Last night I was so upset. It didn't surprise me when my hubby said he had lost his wedding ring again. I was just to stressed out to even care about a ring. The ring just symbolizes love. The important thing is that he comes home to me and is devoted to Connor and I. The ring can be replaced but I'm going to be to one to judge the size on the next one. ;-)
Thankfully I had a date with my girlfriends last night at On the Border. The food sucked ass but I manged to put away 3 girl drinks. It was so good to be out with my close friends. The ones that know all about me and accept me for who I am. We had some great conversations, shared drinks, and enjoyed a night out with just the girls. It was great to not have to deal with kids crying. I needed a night off and it was great.
When I got home I went staight to bed but hardly slept. I kept thinking of the drama of the day and how upset I was. I was litterally shaking yesterday afternoon with rage. I was also worried about not making it to Connors dr appointment on time. For some reason I thought my car was blocked in and that I would have to make a 72 point turn to get out of the driveway.
I checked my email this morning and was surprised to have two apologies from the people that ripped me apart. Obviously my email to Shannin did exactly what I wanted and while I would have loved to get an apology on the message board I am going to cut my losses. Mama drama sucks and I hate being a part of it. There is still 13 more days left of the group but after the drama I am not leaving the group till it goes kaput. After all I have paid my dues and have every right to be in on the drama!
Have I learned a lesson? Probably not. I wonder what will happen in 6 months.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Refreshed
Who knew that a weekend trip to the beach would leave me feeling so human again. Just getting away from this place for a few days made me realize how much I love my family and home.
On the ride over to the beach it finally came to me. I'm such a shmuck! Why do I always put Connor before Tom? It should not be like that at all and now I have something to work on. I'm guessing it's because t babies are so helpless and needy. I always felt I needed to meet Connor's needs before the crying and fussing began. Now that he's older I don't feel so glued to him but old habits die hard.
After spending the weekend in a tiny cluttered (cluttered is an understatement I'll have you know) cabin I realized how much I love our large spacious house. The work I've been complaining about is really therapeutic for me. I do feel joy when my house is clean and believe me I still want help in getting all the chores done. I'm going to try to relax some on the chores but I know this will be difficult for me to do. Much easier said than done.
On a sad note I slipped and fell going down the stairs today. I heard a small crack when I landed and I'm wondering if I might have cracked my tail bone. It hurts but I know there is nothing that can be done about it. I wish it was videotaped so I could watch it over right now. I'm sure it was pretty amusing. My foot literally slipped out from under me and I'm sure it looked like I slipped on a banana peel. Then I bounced, on my cushioned, butt down about 2 or 3 stairs before coming to a stop. Connor had been right next to me at the top and was silent as I fell. I think he if I was okay but the birdies were swirling around my head pretty good so I can't be certain. At least he didn't laugh at me!
Another sad note is my 30th birthday this coming Sunday. I'm not really ready to let go of the 20's yet. I think it's a good reminder to me though that I'm not as young as I used to be and that I need to take care of myself. I'm in about the worst shape of my life and if I want to live to see 40 I need to make life changes and stick to them. Exercise is at the top of that list and now when my ass stops hurting I will have to hop back on the treadmill and walk off some of that fat.
On the ride over to the beach it finally came to me. I'm such a shmuck! Why do I always put Connor before Tom? It should not be like that at all and now I have something to work on. I'm guessing it's because t babies are so helpless and needy. I always felt I needed to meet Connor's needs before the crying and fussing began. Now that he's older I don't feel so glued to him but old habits die hard.
After spending the weekend in a tiny cluttered (cluttered is an understatement I'll have you know) cabin I realized how much I love our large spacious house. The work I've been complaining about is really therapeutic for me. I do feel joy when my house is clean and believe me I still want help in getting all the chores done. I'm going to try to relax some on the chores but I know this will be difficult for me to do. Much easier said than done.
On a sad note I slipped and fell going down the stairs today. I heard a small crack when I landed and I'm wondering if I might have cracked my tail bone. It hurts but I know there is nothing that can be done about it. I wish it was videotaped so I could watch it over right now. I'm sure it was pretty amusing. My foot literally slipped out from under me and I'm sure it looked like I slipped on a banana peel. Then I bounced, on my cushioned, butt down about 2 or 3 stairs before coming to a stop. Connor had been right next to me at the top and was silent as I fell. I think he if I was okay but the birdies were swirling around my head pretty good so I can't be certain. At least he didn't laugh at me!
Another sad note is my 30th birthday this coming Sunday. I'm not really ready to let go of the 20's yet. I think it's a good reminder to me though that I'm not as young as I used to be and that I need to take care of myself. I'm in about the worst shape of my life and if I want to live to see 40 I need to make life changes and stick to them. Exercise is at the top of that list and now when my ass stops hurting I will have to hop back on the treadmill and walk off some of that fat.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Exhausted
I've been dreading coming back to write in my blog. All I ever write about are things that are bugging me in life. Believe me there are lots of good things but for some reason the bad gets me worked up and I have to write to feel better.
Today I dreaded getting out of bed. This is the second morning in a row that Connor has been up before 6 am. I know he's tired but he will not go back to sleep so I don't even try. Luckily, Toms shower drowns out Connors talking so I'm able to nap till the shower turns off.
I should have given Connor a nap yesterday. He's been so grumpy and mean lately and I know a nap would do wonders for all our attitudes. When Connor's not happy no ones happy.
So, here's how my life has been going lately. Wake up at an ungawdly hour. This is anytime before 7 am. Get Connor up. Play for a bit then head downstairs for breakfast. I prepare Connor whatever it is he's going to eat. Every morning when I come downstairs I noticed the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and there is a huge pile of dishes waiting to be loaded into the dish washer. After that's done and the kitchen looks better I make myself a bite to eat and scraf it down before Connor finishes his breakfast. I almost want to cry when I see the dishwasher in the morning. I've unloaded it and reloaded it every single day for months.
After breakfast I head upstairs and turn on the tv to distract Connor while I shower. About half way through Connor comes in and starts talking to me. How I would love to take an entire shower by myself. He even peeks in on me most weekends too. I make the beds then come into the play room. I try to catch up on the news but Connor has a fit so I succumb to watching cartoons.
Most days we leave the house by ten to visit friends or go places that Connor will enjoy. We do what he wants all day. I try to slip in some house cleaning but it's impossible to mop with a toddler under foot. Everything I clean something up about 5 minutes later its a complete disaster.
Tom comes home at 5 pm which I look forward to every day. What I don't enjoy is that he unloads his lunch box and leaves all the silverware, and Tupperware on the counter. I can't understand why he can't put that stuff in the dishwasher. I end up doing it while I cook dinner. Ugh, dinner. I'm so burned out on cooking. I make 3 meals a day every single day. I never get much help in coming up with dinner ideas so that weight is on my shoulders every week. About half way thorough the week I loose all motivation and really don't want to prepare the meals I have picked out.
Connor takes a bath at 6 and Tom is always great about giving him a bath. Problem is that once you leave the room Connor just wants us back in there again. Most of the time that means I have to go sit and watch him play and talk to him. Believe me when I say I love being with my son but after 10 hours of doing it solid I'm tired. Then either Tom or myself gets him out of the bath. For me it's a constant fight with Connor to get his diaper on (all diaper changes are difficult these days), Jammie's and everything. Then sometimes I read the bedtime stories and Tom always puts him to bed.
So that leaves with exactly hmm.. 5 minutes to myself to do what I want on the computer. Then Tom comes back and expects my full attention for the rest of the evening. I know I'm off and on during the day, and I'm actually taking a break right now while Connor begs me to go outside so I can write this. I try to get laundry done in the evening so I can put it away in the morning.
I'm so tired of this same ole same ole. I'm tired of being a servant to everyone. I just want to be held and told how appreciated I am and how loved I am. What I need is a cheap preschool so I can reclaim some of myself.
Today I dreaded getting out of bed. This is the second morning in a row that Connor has been up before 6 am. I know he's tired but he will not go back to sleep so I don't even try. Luckily, Toms shower drowns out Connors talking so I'm able to nap till the shower turns off.
I should have given Connor a nap yesterday. He's been so grumpy and mean lately and I know a nap would do wonders for all our attitudes. When Connor's not happy no ones happy.
So, here's how my life has been going lately. Wake up at an ungawdly hour. This is anytime before 7 am. Get Connor up. Play for a bit then head downstairs for breakfast. I prepare Connor whatever it is he's going to eat. Every morning when I come downstairs I noticed the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and there is a huge pile of dishes waiting to be loaded into the dish washer. After that's done and the kitchen looks better I make myself a bite to eat and scraf it down before Connor finishes his breakfast. I almost want to cry when I see the dishwasher in the morning. I've unloaded it and reloaded it every single day for months.
After breakfast I head upstairs and turn on the tv to distract Connor while I shower. About half way through Connor comes in and starts talking to me. How I would love to take an entire shower by myself. He even peeks in on me most weekends too. I make the beds then come into the play room. I try to catch up on the news but Connor has a fit so I succumb to watching cartoons.
Most days we leave the house by ten to visit friends or go places that Connor will enjoy. We do what he wants all day. I try to slip in some house cleaning but it's impossible to mop with a toddler under foot. Everything I clean something up about 5 minutes later its a complete disaster.
Tom comes home at 5 pm which I look forward to every day. What I don't enjoy is that he unloads his lunch box and leaves all the silverware, and Tupperware on the counter. I can't understand why he can't put that stuff in the dishwasher. I end up doing it while I cook dinner. Ugh, dinner. I'm so burned out on cooking. I make 3 meals a day every single day. I never get much help in coming up with dinner ideas so that weight is on my shoulders every week. About half way thorough the week I loose all motivation and really don't want to prepare the meals I have picked out.
Connor takes a bath at 6 and Tom is always great about giving him a bath. Problem is that once you leave the room Connor just wants us back in there again. Most of the time that means I have to go sit and watch him play and talk to him. Believe me when I say I love being with my son but after 10 hours of doing it solid I'm tired. Then either Tom or myself gets him out of the bath. For me it's a constant fight with Connor to get his diaper on (all diaper changes are difficult these days), Jammie's and everything. Then sometimes I read the bedtime stories and Tom always puts him to bed.
So that leaves with exactly hmm.. 5 minutes to myself to do what I want on the computer. Then Tom comes back and expects my full attention for the rest of the evening. I know I'm off and on during the day, and I'm actually taking a break right now while Connor begs me to go outside so I can write this. I try to get laundry done in the evening so I can put it away in the morning.
I'm so tired of this same ole same ole. I'm tired of being a servant to everyone. I just want to be held and told how appreciated I am and how loved I am. What I need is a cheap preschool so I can reclaim some of myself.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Turdy Thursday
The ups and downs are killing me. Why can't things just be simple?
Things are crazy for my hubby at work. Which means he comes home in a "weird" mood. Connor has refused taking naps lately. I have no ME time! Then when I do have me time all I do is clean house.
I'm feeling so overwhelmed with everything lately. The stress my hubby brings home only adds to my stress. I like when things are predictable. Which is weird for me since I've never been a person who stuck to routines. Then Connor came into our lives and I was forced begrudgingly into routines. Now I find them safe and familiar.
I'm at a loss of what to do now. Do I sit down and have a talk with my hubby about my feelings and how I'm feeling or do I give him more time for things to settle down at work? How long is this going to last? I'm not sure I have enough patience left in me before I crack.
I'm trying to stay positive that tomorrow will be a better day. At the same time I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the rest of the week. Thankfully there is only one more work day then the weekend. Tom has said he is going to take a sick day on Monday so maybe that will help? At this point I'm just hoping something will change for the better.
Things are crazy for my hubby at work. Which means he comes home in a "weird" mood. Connor has refused taking naps lately. I have no ME time! Then when I do have me time all I do is clean house.
I'm feeling so overwhelmed with everything lately. The stress my hubby brings home only adds to my stress. I like when things are predictable. Which is weird for me since I've never been a person who stuck to routines. Then Connor came into our lives and I was forced begrudgingly into routines. Now I find them safe and familiar.
I'm at a loss of what to do now. Do I sit down and have a talk with my hubby about my feelings and how I'm feeling or do I give him more time for things to settle down at work? How long is this going to last? I'm not sure I have enough patience left in me before I crack.
I'm trying to stay positive that tomorrow will be a better day. At the same time I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the rest of the week. Thankfully there is only one more work day then the weekend. Tom has said he is going to take a sick day on Monday so maybe that will help? At this point I'm just hoping something will change for the better.
Monday, July 21, 2008
A great Day
Connor has been having some really good days recently. I'm so thankful for the good days. It seems we have more bad than good so having the good ones are such a pleasant change.
Our day started out a little early which was okay since Connor had went to bed last night at 6:30. I should say he begged to go to bed. Poor guy had missed his nap and had a busy day. We got up, and I got Connor dressed for the day. Tom was having his breakfast and Connor joined him. Yeah, breakast was already out of the way. I was moving a bit slow this morning. My brain hadn't gotten the memo about waking up. Tom left at his usual time.
Connor and I headed downstairs after a bit of playing and whipped up a batch of brownies. We were going to take them to Tom's work and stop in for a quick visit. I got showered, put on makeup, and did my hair. I even packed a lunch for Connor since we were going to the park afterwards. I'm still shocked that I got all that done and was out of the door by 9:15! Truly amazing!
We got to Tom's work at about 9:40. Tom met us in the parking lot so I didn't have to walk into the office and be confused on where to go. The company doesn't want children on the premises so I get nervous that the big boss will see us and ask us to leave. We visited with Tom's office friends and showed off Connor. Of course everyone's eyes were glued to him and I think they all enjoyed his short, brief visit. Anything has got to be better than work, right?!
After we gave Tom a big hug and kiss good bye, and watched the UPS truck drive off we headed back to our car. On the way there 3 diesel engines roared by ringing their bell. I think the first honk or whistle scared him but he waved at the man and for the next 15 minutes all he talked about was the train.
We got to the park about 15 minutes earlier than I thought we would. Connor got right out and headed for the tire swing. These seem to be the worlds best swings and he can stay in it swinging for the longest time. I finally had to tell him it was time to move on so other kids could have a go. He had a really good time playing and was so excited when his friends showed up.
Of course no trip to the park is complete until we hit or push someone. Connor was trying to save Leif's toy from another boy and got into a pretty good fist fight/pushing match over this truck. We had to have a little time out on the picnic bench and talk about sharing and that our friend brought the truck to share with everyone and everyone means everyone. I made Connor go appologize, which in Connor's mind means appologize while hugging them and for good measure he throws in a kiss too. Most of the time it looks more like Connor tackling a kid to the ground to give him a hug and a kiss on the shoulder or any body part he can reach. What surprised me today was that these two hit it off after the apology. They just started playing and it was totally awesome.
Later he met up with another boy that was a few years older and they hit it off well together. My little baby is making friends all on his own now. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. We are finally getting to a place where we might be able to go to the park and Connor will play on the play structure and I can read a book, chat with friends, surf the internet or whatever else I would like to do. I know he's still young for that but seeing a small glimpse of it today gives me hope!
I'm enjoying being able to stay home and enjoy watching Connor grow. It hasn't always been easy and I know that tomorrow could be a day that makes me regret staying home. For right now I am just enjoying every day as it comes and hope that every day could be as perfect as today felt.
Our day started out a little early which was okay since Connor had went to bed last night at 6:30. I should say he begged to go to bed. Poor guy had missed his nap and had a busy day. We got up, and I got Connor dressed for the day. Tom was having his breakfast and Connor joined him. Yeah, breakast was already out of the way. I was moving a bit slow this morning. My brain hadn't gotten the memo about waking up. Tom left at his usual time.
Connor and I headed downstairs after a bit of playing and whipped up a batch of brownies. We were going to take them to Tom's work and stop in for a quick visit. I got showered, put on makeup, and did my hair. I even packed a lunch for Connor since we were going to the park afterwards. I'm still shocked that I got all that done and was out of the door by 9:15! Truly amazing!
We got to Tom's work at about 9:40. Tom met us in the parking lot so I didn't have to walk into the office and be confused on where to go. The company doesn't want children on the premises so I get nervous that the big boss will see us and ask us to leave. We visited with Tom's office friends and showed off Connor. Of course everyone's eyes were glued to him and I think they all enjoyed his short, brief visit. Anything has got to be better than work, right?!
After we gave Tom a big hug and kiss good bye, and watched the UPS truck drive off we headed back to our car. On the way there 3 diesel engines roared by ringing their bell. I think the first honk or whistle scared him but he waved at the man and for the next 15 minutes all he talked about was the train.
We got to the park about 15 minutes earlier than I thought we would. Connor got right out and headed for the tire swing. These seem to be the worlds best swings and he can stay in it swinging for the longest time. I finally had to tell him it was time to move on so other kids could have a go. He had a really good time playing and was so excited when his friends showed up.
Of course no trip to the park is complete until we hit or push someone. Connor was trying to save Leif's toy from another boy and got into a pretty good fist fight/pushing match over this truck. We had to have a little time out on the picnic bench and talk about sharing and that our friend brought the truck to share with everyone and everyone means everyone. I made Connor go appologize, which in Connor's mind means appologize while hugging them and for good measure he throws in a kiss too. Most of the time it looks more like Connor tackling a kid to the ground to give him a hug and a kiss on the shoulder or any body part he can reach. What surprised me today was that these two hit it off after the apology. They just started playing and it was totally awesome.
Later he met up with another boy that was a few years older and they hit it off well together. My little baby is making friends all on his own now. I can't tell you how happy this makes me. We are finally getting to a place where we might be able to go to the park and Connor will play on the play structure and I can read a book, chat with friends, surf the internet or whatever else I would like to do. I know he's still young for that but seeing a small glimpse of it today gives me hope!
I'm enjoying being able to stay home and enjoy watching Connor grow. It hasn't always been easy and I know that tomorrow could be a day that makes me regret staying home. For right now I am just enjoying every day as it comes and hope that every day could be as perfect as today felt.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday
Today is not like a typical Monday. It's much better! Connor has been going through a phase of worshiping his father. While I think it's uber sweet that Connor has such a crush on his dad, I get the brunt f the crappy attitude. Since the day my husband has gone back to work I have dreaded Monday and worshiped Fridays. How is today different?
Connor woke up at 6:30 today. Nothing unusual there, but instead of kicking at me and saying "Go away! I want da-da!" I got the sweet boy. He told me that he didn't go pee-pee in his diaper and got up and went right in and sat on his potty. His diaper was pretty wet so I didn't expect him to nearly over flow his little potty! I was proud of him for being such a big boy, but for some reason after the morning pee that's it no more using the potty.
I'm off track. So far this morning Connor has been super good to me. He did get caught hitting me this morning and got in trouble for it by dad. It was really nice to have a witness and have someone on my side. Normally he only behaves like that when we are alone and while I discipline him for it, it was nice to have someone other that myself "lay the smack down."
Our neighbors are out of town till the 12th and we are watching their house and cats for them while they are away. Last time we did this it was winter time and the kittens were small, cute and cuddly. I was shocked to see them today. They are living the good life at the neighbors and are sporting stuffed bellies and sassy attitudes. I know all their names but don't know which cat has which name. One of them is overly friendly and got lots of attention. They even tolerated Connor really well. Our cat Gary has been beat up many times by Connor as he learns how to treat animals so Gary isn't as out going as these kittens. Connor had a blast playing with them and I had fun with them too. Their hair is super silky which I miss touching. Gary is only 4 but his coat is already getting thick and not as soft.
Right now we are outside enjoying the sunshine before it gets to hot out. Connor is painting. He does this differently than most kids. He gets his paints, drives his cars through them and then runs them on the paper. The tires make cool tracks on the paper but the truly best part is the fact that it eats up about 40 minutes of our morning. He has the best time driving his cars and making "vrooming" sounds.
Later we are going to go to the library and exchange our old books for new. I love our library. They have the best storytimes, but are on summer break for another couple weeks. :-( Also they have a fun train table and tons of toys for kids to play with while you search and check out books. It's a great place to go and your kids learn so much from it. Best part is that everything is free!!!!
Connor woke up at 6:30 today. Nothing unusual there, but instead of kicking at me and saying "Go away! I want da-da!" I got the sweet boy. He told me that he didn't go pee-pee in his diaper and got up and went right in and sat on his potty. His diaper was pretty wet so I didn't expect him to nearly over flow his little potty! I was proud of him for being such a big boy, but for some reason after the morning pee that's it no more using the potty.
I'm off track. So far this morning Connor has been super good to me. He did get caught hitting me this morning and got in trouble for it by dad. It was really nice to have a witness and have someone on my side. Normally he only behaves like that when we are alone and while I discipline him for it, it was nice to have someone other that myself "lay the smack down."
Our neighbors are out of town till the 12th and we are watching their house and cats for them while they are away. Last time we did this it was winter time and the kittens were small, cute and cuddly. I was shocked to see them today. They are living the good life at the neighbors and are sporting stuffed bellies and sassy attitudes. I know all their names but don't know which cat has which name. One of them is overly friendly and got lots of attention. They even tolerated Connor really well. Our cat Gary has been beat up many times by Connor as he learns how to treat animals so Gary isn't as out going as these kittens. Connor had a blast playing with them and I had fun with them too. Their hair is super silky which I miss touching. Gary is only 4 but his coat is already getting thick and not as soft.
Right now we are outside enjoying the sunshine before it gets to hot out. Connor is painting. He does this differently than most kids. He gets his paints, drives his cars through them and then runs them on the paper. The tires make cool tracks on the paper but the truly best part is the fact that it eats up about 40 minutes of our morning. He has the best time driving his cars and making "vrooming" sounds.
Later we are going to go to the library and exchange our old books for new. I love our library. They have the best storytimes, but are on summer break for another couple weeks. :-( Also they have a fun train table and tons of toys for kids to play with while you search and check out books. It's a great place to go and your kids learn so much from it. Best part is that everything is free!!!!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday!
I'm very glad today is Friday and that next week is only a 4 day work week. I really am happy when holidays fall on Friday's. It makes a nice long weekend.
Lately I've been thinking about seeing a doctor about anxiety/depression. I just can't shake all these horrible feelings. I get sad because my friends are busy doing stuff and are unavailable but when they call me I never really want to answer. The sound of my phone ringing sends me crazy. I know this comes from years of working in customer service and always dealing with customers or other employees that need something. So answering the phone makes me so anxious. On top of that I can't say no. I can be thinking no but no matter what I end up saying yes and then being miserable afterward.
In a way I don't want to have to admit to having a problem. Really though, it consumes me. I feel negative all the time and I see that negativity coming out in Connor. I've tried changing my ways but I just can't keep kidding myself.
On top of that I really hate taking any sort of pills. I'll be really good for a couple of weeks then I start to slack. That's the story of my life though. The only thing I haven't ever given up on is Connor and believe me at about 2 weeks and about 2 hours total of sleep I wanted to give up. This was something I just couldn't give up though. Thankfully! He has made me a better person.
I wonder what it's like to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face and a heart beaming with love. For me I wake up tired, sad, and for some reason I feel unloved. No matter how much love I am given by my husband and son it's just never enough. I hate feeling needy all the time.
Now I just have to get up the gumption to call up the doctor and have a chat with them. It would be great to feel human again.
Lately I've been thinking about seeing a doctor about anxiety/depression. I just can't shake all these horrible feelings. I get sad because my friends are busy doing stuff and are unavailable but when they call me I never really want to answer. The sound of my phone ringing sends me crazy. I know this comes from years of working in customer service and always dealing with customers or other employees that need something. So answering the phone makes me so anxious. On top of that I can't say no. I can be thinking no but no matter what I end up saying yes and then being miserable afterward.
In a way I don't want to have to admit to having a problem. Really though, it consumes me. I feel negative all the time and I see that negativity coming out in Connor. I've tried changing my ways but I just can't keep kidding myself.
On top of that I really hate taking any sort of pills. I'll be really good for a couple of weeks then I start to slack. That's the story of my life though. The only thing I haven't ever given up on is Connor and believe me at about 2 weeks and about 2 hours total of sleep I wanted to give up. This was something I just couldn't give up though. Thankfully! He has made me a better person.
I wonder what it's like to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face and a heart beaming with love. For me I wake up tired, sad, and for some reason I feel unloved. No matter how much love I am given by my husband and son it's just never enough. I hate feeling needy all the time.
Now I just have to get up the gumption to call up the doctor and have a chat with them. It would be great to feel human again.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A rough day
Connor was up once again at 6:30 again this morning. Like normal as soon as I walk in there he starts yelling at me that he wants his dad and for me to go away. After a couple seconds he tells me I can stay. Tom hasn't left for work yet so he takes care of the night diaper and clothes change. Connor likes nothing better than changing into his "day time clothes" first thing in the morning. Today he insisted on wearing underwear.
Things were going pretty good and Tom left for work. Connor used the potty a total of two times today before he peed himself. I'm not sure when he did because he was futzing over his breakfast this morning. He didn't want any part of it then he'd cry that he wanted it. He even cried thinking that I was eating it. I never touched his meal other than preparing it. Somewhere in the middle of this crisis he peed himself and he got even more emotional over it. After I finally got him cleaned up he refused to wear pull ups so we braved underwear again. I'm convinced he's to young or immature right now to handle the whole concept. In his mind diapers are for babies and he is no longer a baby. He will willingly go to the potty 2 or 3 times before he either forgets or gives up. I want to stop completely for a month but can't because he is the one begging to be a big boy. This is so frustrating.
Since the time Tom left this morning Connor has been argumentative. He argues about everything and if he's not arguing he's saying "What?" It happens after everything I say he either says What or argues with me. I'm so frustrated with that. We were supposed to go to a play date today but I changed my mind because of his attitude. It was a bbq play date so I had made a huge salad and instead of just chucking it in the garbage I dropped it off and left. On the way back home I stopped at a park hoping some fresh air would cheer my little grump up. It was working great till he was running and tripped over his feet. He landed of course on the concrete sidewalk instead of the wood chips that were 2 inches away. He scrapped his knee which really wasn't that bad but you'd think his legs were amputated at the knees the way he carried on. I had to carry him the 1/8th mile back to the car because he "couldn't" walk.
After we got home I bandaged him up. The cut was really dirty so I wanted to make sure it got cleaned out. Peroxide is the best way to do this and I know it can sting. Poor guy cried like a mashed cat for hours (or at least 5 minutes) and fought the neosporin and the boring old brown bandages I tried to put over it. Finally got the ointment on and talked him into the ugly bandage as long as I put a spiderman one over it. Done deal.
He fought me for his nap today but was asleep in less than 5 minutes. Which reminds me it's time to go try to wake him so he will sleep tonight. Lets hope we have a much nicer afternoon. Watching tv all morning has not been good for us so I hope to get out and enjoy some of the cloudy cool weather we are having.
Things were going pretty good and Tom left for work. Connor used the potty a total of two times today before he peed himself. I'm not sure when he did because he was futzing over his breakfast this morning. He didn't want any part of it then he'd cry that he wanted it. He even cried thinking that I was eating it. I never touched his meal other than preparing it. Somewhere in the middle of this crisis he peed himself and he got even more emotional over it. After I finally got him cleaned up he refused to wear pull ups so we braved underwear again. I'm convinced he's to young or immature right now to handle the whole concept. In his mind diapers are for babies and he is no longer a baby. He will willingly go to the potty 2 or 3 times before he either forgets or gives up. I want to stop completely for a month but can't because he is the one begging to be a big boy. This is so frustrating.
Since the time Tom left this morning Connor has been argumentative. He argues about everything and if he's not arguing he's saying "What?" It happens after everything I say he either says What or argues with me. I'm so frustrated with that. We were supposed to go to a play date today but I changed my mind because of his attitude. It was a bbq play date so I had made a huge salad and instead of just chucking it in the garbage I dropped it off and left. On the way back home I stopped at a park hoping some fresh air would cheer my little grump up. It was working great till he was running and tripped over his feet. He landed of course on the concrete sidewalk instead of the wood chips that were 2 inches away. He scrapped his knee which really wasn't that bad but you'd think his legs were amputated at the knees the way he carried on. I had to carry him the 1/8th mile back to the car because he "couldn't" walk.
After we got home I bandaged him up. The cut was really dirty so I wanted to make sure it got cleaned out. Peroxide is the best way to do this and I know it can sting. Poor guy cried like a mashed cat for hours (or at least 5 minutes) and fought the neosporin and the boring old brown bandages I tried to put over it. Finally got the ointment on and talked him into the ugly bandage as long as I put a spiderman one over it. Done deal.
He fought me for his nap today but was asleep in less than 5 minutes. Which reminds me it's time to go try to wake him so he will sleep tonight. Lets hope we have a much nicer afternoon. Watching tv all morning has not been good for us so I hope to get out and enjoy some of the cloudy cool weather we are having.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Chuck E Cheese
We put in a long night last night. Connor refused to take a nap yesterday and was really tired in the evening so we put him to bed at 7. He didn't fall asleep till nearly 8 because Tom didn't sing "Twinkle, Twinkle" to him. Finally Tom went in and sang and Connor went right to sleep. Then at 3am he starts calling out for Daddy. Nothing was wrong so he went back to sleep. The cat started meowing shortly afterward and then started scratching on the carpet. I thought for sure the cat was locked in Connor's room. So I peek in and no cat. He was just chilling on the stairs. It took me forever to go back to sleep. Then Connor woke up at 6:30 complaining that his tummy hurt. I gave him some gas drops but he was ready to get up for the day. I'm guessing he didn't really have a hurt tummy.
He also was talking about a dream I'm guessing he had. From what I can understand from him there was a beanstalk outside his window. It was chopped down and it crashed onto a juice box and it squirted right into the lions mouth. Quite an imagination already! He's been talking about it a lot today so I'm thinking it was a dream.
Today we went to Chuck E Cheese (CEC) to celebrate a friends birthday. We had a really good time. I can't believe how crazy I am when it comes to getting those darn tickets. Good thing I don't go crazy buying coins but I sure am competitive on the games I like to play. One of my favorites is skee ball but it's to hard for Connor and I'm constantly in fear that he's going to hurt someone with those balls. I did awesome and even got one ball in the 100,000 slot! Go me! Connor had a great time riding the rides that don't give you tickets. Go figure. I know he had a great time and when we turned in our tickets we got a ball and 3 suckers.
Connor is down for his nap right now. Afterwards we are going to attempt to wash my car. Last week we took it to the beach and drove on the sand. On they way back we hit tons of bugs so the front of my car is looking rather dirty. Connor's job is to wash the wheels. It's scary to trust him with a brush and my car but it's something I have to do. It teaches him responsibility, and it gives him something to do. I'm finding that just having him help me while I do chores is great. Sure I have to sometimes go back behind him and finish up things or help him. Now that he's getting older (omg.. almost 3 already) he's getting a lot better at what he can accomplish.
He also was talking about a dream I'm guessing he had. From what I can understand from him there was a beanstalk outside his window. It was chopped down and it crashed onto a juice box and it squirted right into the lions mouth. Quite an imagination already! He's been talking about it a lot today so I'm thinking it was a dream.
Today we went to Chuck E Cheese (CEC) to celebrate a friends birthday. We had a really good time. I can't believe how crazy I am when it comes to getting those darn tickets. Good thing I don't go crazy buying coins but I sure am competitive on the games I like to play. One of my favorites is skee ball but it's to hard for Connor and I'm constantly in fear that he's going to hurt someone with those balls. I did awesome and even got one ball in the 100,000 slot! Go me! Connor had a great time riding the rides that don't give you tickets. Go figure. I know he had a great time and when we turned in our tickets we got a ball and 3 suckers.
Connor is down for his nap right now. Afterwards we are going to attempt to wash my car. Last week we took it to the beach and drove on the sand. On they way back we hit tons of bugs so the front of my car is looking rather dirty. Connor's job is to wash the wheels. It's scary to trust him with a brush and my car but it's something I have to do. It teaches him responsibility, and it gives him something to do. I'm finding that just having him help me while I do chores is great. Sure I have to sometimes go back behind him and finish up things or help him. Now that he's getting older (omg.. almost 3 already) he's getting a lot better at what he can accomplish.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
First Post
I've tried blogging before in different places and it ends up just getting me in trouble. This time will be different because I'm not giving anyone this address! This is the only place I have to vent so at times I may say things I regret later. You can imagine if someone I'm mad at reads this they'll have hurt feelings and I'll lose another friendship. Hopefully I can learn to control my crappy attitude.
Today is Tuesday. Connor and I got up at 7:30 this morning. He cried at me that he wanted daddy to get him up. I had to break the news to him that dad had already left for work. He takes it bad every morning and he asked me to close the door. He had a quiet cry in his room while I checked my email. Then I went in and he was better.
First thing he wanted to do was watch MMCH (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) so I turned it on for him and went to take a shower. I always worry about what he's up to while I'm showering but lucky for me MMCH keeps him entertained so I have 25 minutes to shower and get dressed. After that we went downstairs and had breakfast. He insisted on shredded wheat over captain crunch and I had my regular bowl of bran infused oatmeal.
We came upstairs and played. I checked my mail again and my friends were looking for things to do so I invited them over. We are currently waiting for our first guests to arrive. Connor is on the couch looking out the window and reading stories we got from the library. I'm so proud of his love of books. Its funny to watch him read books to himself. He makes some good stories all on his own.
I'm looking forward to having friends over today. Last week were were on vacation so I didn't get my "girl" time in. I know I'm in for some good laughs and my son will have some good playing. Hopefully he will want to take a nap this afternoon so I can get about an hour or so of me time. It's the only me time I get during the day so I have to take full advantage of it.
Today is Tuesday. Connor and I got up at 7:30 this morning. He cried at me that he wanted daddy to get him up. I had to break the news to him that dad had already left for work. He takes it bad every morning and he asked me to close the door. He had a quiet cry in his room while I checked my email. Then I went in and he was better.
First thing he wanted to do was watch MMCH (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) so I turned it on for him and went to take a shower. I always worry about what he's up to while I'm showering but lucky for me MMCH keeps him entertained so I have 25 minutes to shower and get dressed. After that we went downstairs and had breakfast. He insisted on shredded wheat over captain crunch and I had my regular bowl of bran infused oatmeal.
We came upstairs and played. I checked my mail again and my friends were looking for things to do so I invited them over. We are currently waiting for our first guests to arrive. Connor is on the couch looking out the window and reading stories we got from the library. I'm so proud of his love of books. Its funny to watch him read books to himself. He makes some good stories all on his own.
I'm looking forward to having friends over today. Last week were were on vacation so I didn't get my "girl" time in. I know I'm in for some good laughs and my son will have some good playing. Hopefully he will want to take a nap this afternoon so I can get about an hour or so of me time. It's the only me time I get during the day so I have to take full advantage of it.
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