Refreshed

Who knew that a weekend trip to the beach would leave me feeling so human again. Just getting away from this place for a few days made me realize how much I love my family and home.

On the ride over to the beach it finally came to me. I'm such a shmuck! Why do I always put Connor before Tom? It should not be like that at all and now I have something to work on. I'm guessing it's because t babies are so helpless and needy. I always felt I needed to meet Connor's needs before the crying and fussing began. Now that he's older I don't feel so glued to him but old habits die hard.

After spending the weekend in a tiny cluttered (cluttered is an understatement I'll have you know) cabin I realized how much I love our large spacious house. The work I've been complaining about is really therapeutic for me. I do feel joy when my house is clean and believe me I still want help in getting all the chores done. I'm going to try to relax some on the chores but I know this will be difficult for me to do. Much easier said than done.

On a sad note I slipped and fell going down the stairs today. I heard a small crack when I landed and I'm wondering if I might have cracked my tail bone. It hurts but I know there is nothing that can be done about it. I wish it was videotaped so I could watch it over right now. I'm sure it was pretty amusing. My foot literally slipped out from under me and I'm sure it looked like I slipped on a banana peel. Then I bounced, on my cushioned, butt down about 2 or 3 stairs before coming to a stop. Connor had been right next to me at the top and was silent as I fell. I think he if I was okay but the birdies were swirling around my head pretty good so I can't be certain. At least he didn't laugh at me!

Another sad note is my 30th birthday this coming Sunday. I'm not really ready to let go of the 20's yet. I think it's a good reminder to me though that I'm not as young as I used to be and that I need to take care of myself. I'm in about the worst shape of my life and if I want to live to see 40 I need to make life changes and stick to them. Exercise is at the top of that list and now when my ass stops hurting I will have to hop back on the treadmill and walk off some of that fat.