Today is not like a typical Monday. It's much better! Connor has been going through a phase of worshiping his father. While I think it's uber sweet that Connor has such a crush on his dad, I get the brunt f the crappy attitude. Since the day my husband has gone back to work I have dreaded Monday and worshiped Fridays. How is today different?
Connor woke up at 6:30 today. Nothing unusual there, but instead of kicking at me and saying "Go away! I want da-da!" I got the sweet boy. He told me that he didn't go pee-pee in his diaper and got up and went right in and sat on his potty. His diaper was pretty wet so I didn't expect him to nearly over flow his little potty! I was proud of him for being such a big boy, but for some reason after the morning pee that's it no more using the potty.
I'm off track. So far this morning Connor has been super good to me. He did get caught hitting me this morning and got in trouble for it by dad. It was really nice to have a witness and have someone on my side. Normally he only behaves like that when we are alone and while I discipline him for it, it was nice to have someone other that myself "lay the smack down."
Our neighbors are out of town till the 12th and we are watching their house and cats for them while they are away. Last time we did this it was winter time and the kittens were small, cute and cuddly. I was shocked to see them today. They are living the good life at the neighbors and are sporting stuffed bellies and sassy attitudes. I know all their names but don't know which cat has which name. One of them is overly friendly and got lots of attention. They even tolerated Connor really well. Our cat Gary has been beat up many times by Connor as he learns how to treat animals so Gary isn't as out going as these kittens. Connor had a blast playing with them and I had fun with them too. Their hair is super silky which I miss touching. Gary is only 4 but his coat is already getting thick and not as soft.
Right now we are outside enjoying the sunshine before it gets to hot out. Connor is painting. He does this differently than most kids. He gets his paints, drives his cars through them and then runs them on the paper. The tires make cool tracks on the paper but the truly best part is the fact that it eats up about 40 minutes of our morning. He has the best time driving his cars and making "vrooming" sounds.
Later we are going to go to the library and exchange our old books for new. I love our library. They have the best storytimes, but are on summer break for another couple weeks. :-( Also they have a fun train table and tons of toys for kids to play with while you search and check out books. It's a great place to go and your kids learn so much from it. Best part is that everything is free!!!!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday!
I'm very glad today is Friday and that next week is only a 4 day work week. I really am happy when holidays fall on Friday's. It makes a nice long weekend.
Lately I've been thinking about seeing a doctor about anxiety/depression. I just can't shake all these horrible feelings. I get sad because my friends are busy doing stuff and are unavailable but when they call me I never really want to answer. The sound of my phone ringing sends me crazy. I know this comes from years of working in customer service and always dealing with customers or other employees that need something. So answering the phone makes me so anxious. On top of that I can't say no. I can be thinking no but no matter what I end up saying yes and then being miserable afterward.
In a way I don't want to have to admit to having a problem. Really though, it consumes me. I feel negative all the time and I see that negativity coming out in Connor. I've tried changing my ways but I just can't keep kidding myself.
On top of that I really hate taking any sort of pills. I'll be really good for a couple of weeks then I start to slack. That's the story of my life though. The only thing I haven't ever given up on is Connor and believe me at about 2 weeks and about 2 hours total of sleep I wanted to give up. This was something I just couldn't give up though. Thankfully! He has made me a better person.
I wonder what it's like to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face and a heart beaming with love. For me I wake up tired, sad, and for some reason I feel unloved. No matter how much love I am given by my husband and son it's just never enough. I hate feeling needy all the time.
Now I just have to get up the gumption to call up the doctor and have a chat with them. It would be great to feel human again.
Lately I've been thinking about seeing a doctor about anxiety/depression. I just can't shake all these horrible feelings. I get sad because my friends are busy doing stuff and are unavailable but when they call me I never really want to answer. The sound of my phone ringing sends me crazy. I know this comes from years of working in customer service and always dealing with customers or other employees that need something. So answering the phone makes me so anxious. On top of that I can't say no. I can be thinking no but no matter what I end up saying yes and then being miserable afterward.
In a way I don't want to have to admit to having a problem. Really though, it consumes me. I feel negative all the time and I see that negativity coming out in Connor. I've tried changing my ways but I just can't keep kidding myself.
On top of that I really hate taking any sort of pills. I'll be really good for a couple of weeks then I start to slack. That's the story of my life though. The only thing I haven't ever given up on is Connor and believe me at about 2 weeks and about 2 hours total of sleep I wanted to give up. This was something I just couldn't give up though. Thankfully! He has made me a better person.
I wonder what it's like to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face and a heart beaming with love. For me I wake up tired, sad, and for some reason I feel unloved. No matter how much love I am given by my husband and son it's just never enough. I hate feeling needy all the time.
Now I just have to get up the gumption to call up the doctor and have a chat with them. It would be great to feel human again.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
A rough day
Connor was up once again at 6:30 again this morning. Like normal as soon as I walk in there he starts yelling at me that he wants his dad and for me to go away. After a couple seconds he tells me I can stay. Tom hasn't left for work yet so he takes care of the night diaper and clothes change. Connor likes nothing better than changing into his "day time clothes" first thing in the morning. Today he insisted on wearing underwear.
Things were going pretty good and Tom left for work. Connor used the potty a total of two times today before he peed himself. I'm not sure when he did because he was futzing over his breakfast this morning. He didn't want any part of it then he'd cry that he wanted it. He even cried thinking that I was eating it. I never touched his meal other than preparing it. Somewhere in the middle of this crisis he peed himself and he got even more emotional over it. After I finally got him cleaned up he refused to wear pull ups so we braved underwear again. I'm convinced he's to young or immature right now to handle the whole concept. In his mind diapers are for babies and he is no longer a baby. He will willingly go to the potty 2 or 3 times before he either forgets or gives up. I want to stop completely for a month but can't because he is the one begging to be a big boy. This is so frustrating.
Since the time Tom left this morning Connor has been argumentative. He argues about everything and if he's not arguing he's saying "What?" It happens after everything I say he either says What or argues with me. I'm so frustrated with that. We were supposed to go to a play date today but I changed my mind because of his attitude. It was a bbq play date so I had made a huge salad and instead of just chucking it in the garbage I dropped it off and left. On the way back home I stopped at a park hoping some fresh air would cheer my little grump up. It was working great till he was running and tripped over his feet. He landed of course on the concrete sidewalk instead of the wood chips that were 2 inches away. He scrapped his knee which really wasn't that bad but you'd think his legs were amputated at the knees the way he carried on. I had to carry him the 1/8th mile back to the car because he "couldn't" walk.
After we got home I bandaged him up. The cut was really dirty so I wanted to make sure it got cleaned out. Peroxide is the best way to do this and I know it can sting. Poor guy cried like a mashed cat for hours (or at least 5 minutes) and fought the neosporin and the boring old brown bandages I tried to put over it. Finally got the ointment on and talked him into the ugly bandage as long as I put a spiderman one over it. Done deal.
He fought me for his nap today but was asleep in less than 5 minutes. Which reminds me it's time to go try to wake him so he will sleep tonight. Lets hope we have a much nicer afternoon. Watching tv all morning has not been good for us so I hope to get out and enjoy some of the cloudy cool weather we are having.
Things were going pretty good and Tom left for work. Connor used the potty a total of two times today before he peed himself. I'm not sure when he did because he was futzing over his breakfast this morning. He didn't want any part of it then he'd cry that he wanted it. He even cried thinking that I was eating it. I never touched his meal other than preparing it. Somewhere in the middle of this crisis he peed himself and he got even more emotional over it. After I finally got him cleaned up he refused to wear pull ups so we braved underwear again. I'm convinced he's to young or immature right now to handle the whole concept. In his mind diapers are for babies and he is no longer a baby. He will willingly go to the potty 2 or 3 times before he either forgets or gives up. I want to stop completely for a month but can't because he is the one begging to be a big boy. This is so frustrating.
Since the time Tom left this morning Connor has been argumentative. He argues about everything and if he's not arguing he's saying "What?" It happens after everything I say he either says What or argues with me. I'm so frustrated with that. We were supposed to go to a play date today but I changed my mind because of his attitude. It was a bbq play date so I had made a huge salad and instead of just chucking it in the garbage I dropped it off and left. On the way back home I stopped at a park hoping some fresh air would cheer my little grump up. It was working great till he was running and tripped over his feet. He landed of course on the concrete sidewalk instead of the wood chips that were 2 inches away. He scrapped his knee which really wasn't that bad but you'd think his legs were amputated at the knees the way he carried on. I had to carry him the 1/8th mile back to the car because he "couldn't" walk.
After we got home I bandaged him up. The cut was really dirty so I wanted to make sure it got cleaned out. Peroxide is the best way to do this and I know it can sting. Poor guy cried like a mashed cat for hours (or at least 5 minutes) and fought the neosporin and the boring old brown bandages I tried to put over it. Finally got the ointment on and talked him into the ugly bandage as long as I put a spiderman one over it. Done deal.
He fought me for his nap today but was asleep in less than 5 minutes. Which reminds me it's time to go try to wake him so he will sleep tonight. Lets hope we have a much nicer afternoon. Watching tv all morning has not been good for us so I hope to get out and enjoy some of the cloudy cool weather we are having.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Chuck E Cheese
We put in a long night last night. Connor refused to take a nap yesterday and was really tired in the evening so we put him to bed at 7. He didn't fall asleep till nearly 8 because Tom didn't sing "Twinkle, Twinkle" to him. Finally Tom went in and sang and Connor went right to sleep. Then at 3am he starts calling out for Daddy. Nothing was wrong so he went back to sleep. The cat started meowing shortly afterward and then started scratching on the carpet. I thought for sure the cat was locked in Connor's room. So I peek in and no cat. He was just chilling on the stairs. It took me forever to go back to sleep. Then Connor woke up at 6:30 complaining that his tummy hurt. I gave him some gas drops but he was ready to get up for the day. I'm guessing he didn't really have a hurt tummy.
He also was talking about a dream I'm guessing he had. From what I can understand from him there was a beanstalk outside his window. It was chopped down and it crashed onto a juice box and it squirted right into the lions mouth. Quite an imagination already! He's been talking about it a lot today so I'm thinking it was a dream.
Today we went to Chuck E Cheese (CEC) to celebrate a friends birthday. We had a really good time. I can't believe how crazy I am when it comes to getting those darn tickets. Good thing I don't go crazy buying coins but I sure am competitive on the games I like to play. One of my favorites is skee ball but it's to hard for Connor and I'm constantly in fear that he's going to hurt someone with those balls. I did awesome and even got one ball in the 100,000 slot! Go me! Connor had a great time riding the rides that don't give you tickets. Go figure. I know he had a great time and when we turned in our tickets we got a ball and 3 suckers.
Connor is down for his nap right now. Afterwards we are going to attempt to wash my car. Last week we took it to the beach and drove on the sand. On they way back we hit tons of bugs so the front of my car is looking rather dirty. Connor's job is to wash the wheels. It's scary to trust him with a brush and my car but it's something I have to do. It teaches him responsibility, and it gives him something to do. I'm finding that just having him help me while I do chores is great. Sure I have to sometimes go back behind him and finish up things or help him. Now that he's getting older (omg.. almost 3 already) he's getting a lot better at what he can accomplish.
He also was talking about a dream I'm guessing he had. From what I can understand from him there was a beanstalk outside his window. It was chopped down and it crashed onto a juice box and it squirted right into the lions mouth. Quite an imagination already! He's been talking about it a lot today so I'm thinking it was a dream.
Today we went to Chuck E Cheese (CEC) to celebrate a friends birthday. We had a really good time. I can't believe how crazy I am when it comes to getting those darn tickets. Good thing I don't go crazy buying coins but I sure am competitive on the games I like to play. One of my favorites is skee ball but it's to hard for Connor and I'm constantly in fear that he's going to hurt someone with those balls. I did awesome and even got one ball in the 100,000 slot! Go me! Connor had a great time riding the rides that don't give you tickets. Go figure. I know he had a great time and when we turned in our tickets we got a ball and 3 suckers.
Connor is down for his nap right now. Afterwards we are going to attempt to wash my car. Last week we took it to the beach and drove on the sand. On they way back we hit tons of bugs so the front of my car is looking rather dirty. Connor's job is to wash the wheels. It's scary to trust him with a brush and my car but it's something I have to do. It teaches him responsibility, and it gives him something to do. I'm finding that just having him help me while I do chores is great. Sure I have to sometimes go back behind him and finish up things or help him. Now that he's getting older (omg.. almost 3 already) he's getting a lot better at what he can accomplish.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
First Post
I've tried blogging before in different places and it ends up just getting me in trouble. This time will be different because I'm not giving anyone this address! This is the only place I have to vent so at times I may say things I regret later. You can imagine if someone I'm mad at reads this they'll have hurt feelings and I'll lose another friendship. Hopefully I can learn to control my crappy attitude.
Today is Tuesday. Connor and I got up at 7:30 this morning. He cried at me that he wanted daddy to get him up. I had to break the news to him that dad had already left for work. He takes it bad every morning and he asked me to close the door. He had a quiet cry in his room while I checked my email. Then I went in and he was better.
First thing he wanted to do was watch MMCH (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) so I turned it on for him and went to take a shower. I always worry about what he's up to while I'm showering but lucky for me MMCH keeps him entertained so I have 25 minutes to shower and get dressed. After that we went downstairs and had breakfast. He insisted on shredded wheat over captain crunch and I had my regular bowl of bran infused oatmeal.
We came upstairs and played. I checked my mail again and my friends were looking for things to do so I invited them over. We are currently waiting for our first guests to arrive. Connor is on the couch looking out the window and reading stories we got from the library. I'm so proud of his love of books. Its funny to watch him read books to himself. He makes some good stories all on his own.
I'm looking forward to having friends over today. Last week were were on vacation so I didn't get my "girl" time in. I know I'm in for some good laughs and my son will have some good playing. Hopefully he will want to take a nap this afternoon so I can get about an hour or so of me time. It's the only me time I get during the day so I have to take full advantage of it.
Today is Tuesday. Connor and I got up at 7:30 this morning. He cried at me that he wanted daddy to get him up. I had to break the news to him that dad had already left for work. He takes it bad every morning and he asked me to close the door. He had a quiet cry in his room while I checked my email. Then I went in and he was better.
First thing he wanted to do was watch MMCH (Mickey Mouse Clubhouse) so I turned it on for him and went to take a shower. I always worry about what he's up to while I'm showering but lucky for me MMCH keeps him entertained so I have 25 minutes to shower and get dressed. After that we went downstairs and had breakfast. He insisted on shredded wheat over captain crunch and I had my regular bowl of bran infused oatmeal.
We came upstairs and played. I checked my mail again and my friends were looking for things to do so I invited them over. We are currently waiting for our first guests to arrive. Connor is on the couch looking out the window and reading stories we got from the library. I'm so proud of his love of books. Its funny to watch him read books to himself. He makes some good stories all on his own.
I'm looking forward to having friends over today. Last week were were on vacation so I didn't get my "girl" time in. I know I'm in for some good laughs and my son will have some good playing. Hopefully he will want to take a nap this afternoon so I can get about an hour or so of me time. It's the only me time I get during the day so I have to take full advantage of it.
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