Better?

I can finally feel the increase in my happy pills working. Things are getting back to "normal" around the house. I do believe that things will never get back to the normal I'm used to but this new normal isn't so bad after all.

I feel a lot closer to Tom lately which is great. Some days I feel like we are a brand new couple in a brand new relationship. Maybe this is what it's like to move on. You know things will never be they way they were, and that's okay, but at the same time things have to change before you move on.

Tom has been helping out around the house a little more than he usually does. I really hope that he continues being so helpful. Usually, he'll help out for a few weeks thing things go back to the way they were. Still that is okay as I know he works hard at work while I often get to sit at home and enjoy having my own schedule. The extra help is always accepted but as he should know by now I will never go out of my way to ask for help. If you see something that needs to be done, do it. That's my motto.

Connor never ceases to amaze me. When I was 5 I couldn't read, tell my left from right, nor did I understand the concept of adding and subtracting. These are all things I'm proud to say my son does. I would love to take credit for all these accomplishments but I can't. The kid learns when he is ready to. Sure, I've read tons of books to him, tried to work with him on phonics, but when he was ready is when he actually did all this. Every day his reading is getting better, and of course his math. The kid has adding and subtracting down pretty good (considering he's only 5) and wants to learn mulitplication. I really hope his love of learning continues through his life. He's truly an intelligent boy and I'm so proud to call him my son.

Now I need to work at getting off my ass and doing some exercise. I can feel the yearning to do it, but until the happy pills help me overcome my laziness I'm afriad all I'm going to be doing is looking at the treadmill. I really want to get on it, yet find so many excuses to not do it. I want to be a smaller person but why oh why can't I get motivated? I feel like all my problems in life come from all this extra luggage I'm carrying around. The second part of my problems was my life growing up. Being an only child living out in the middle of nowhere really secludes a girl. I don't even know what a good time is or how to do it. I'm terrified of meeting new people because no one "gets me." What's worse is that I don't get them either. I'm one of those people that could totally be a hermit, die in my house and not have anyone find me for a year. I could scream in the middle of a quiet room and no one would look at me. It's really weird going through your life being more of a shadow than a real loved person.

Ugh